psychiatry swims in disparate culture bound theories that conflict and conflate in individuals. the pomp and practice fight to settle on some agreed ground while individuals spin and bicker around the edges. there is a slow rolling ball that spins in the dark, steady and whole, taking its time. no apology, not even under your quick fire. then things begin

there is thought in you,

taking elephantine form,
elliptical,
and love,
stop reassuring
move forward
with your bubbling fury
and crimson panic
the day is beginning

look at me

and here i am

La Lune

 w and connections

i went to a conference late today and got second hand
the talk on Gin
and new street drugs
on reenactment on a beach
deferred Eisenstein

new plans can be slow
10 years
application
synthesis
listening
with what bubbles

Morning in Kopenhagen

Tisdag

1) 

This is where i might be when i am inside my studio.

Except there are no windows at all.

Before all my work was made with light from outside.

2)

This evening I spoke to Lilly on the phone which i have not done for a long time. I don't ring friends.

It was really good to speak with her.

3)
This afternoon I went to a reading group about Wittgenstein (Roy Brook's book)
I'm writing this about a group, who talked about a book, which is about Wittgenstein.
People said that in his later work he wrote about how imperfect words are, that it is impossible for them to express what they intend to say.
That things can't be said, only shown.
That he criticises how science claims to hold real value and that science as a discipline insinuates that arts are just for pleasure.
Some one said that he thought Eisenstein demonstrated a deterioration in culture from Chopin.
That his artist parents told him not to do art because he wasn't good enough so he became an engineer, and then found Russell in Cambridge.
That he wrote the work he most esteemed in the trenches
The he had to write and reject his first work before he could make his second
That he discussed the impossibility of describing internal worlds
I think he stayed in Norway on his own for a long time.
He liked poetry
He never studied past philosophers, and advised people not to.
He eventually decided that many things // experiences // cannot be said.
He taught that you have to get out of the arm chair and live them.

4)

This morning I went to a workshop about writing a paper 

(and another less memorable on about applying for  money about margins and overheads)

The workshop about papers said that writing one is like an upside down triangle

You start at the top and distill down

That you start with your data, your methods and your results , and you write around it
You work out what the grand narrative is out there
And you write your story
And you show it to other people and hear their criticism

That it all takes a long time

And that all the time you are involved  somewhere in the cycle of it continuously

Even when it is finished, sent and accepted.

e

I went to the pub today and had half a pint of ale
We thought about starting a zine about loosing and having hair
Called cheap hand job, Lamp, Beard or Barnet.
I was too hot in a thick wool jumper, which i have worn everyday for the past ten days.
It is cold outside but the lamps are warm.
I got up early and travelled to talk about the way things fall out
And then played with data
And talked with super bright people.

I like my new job today.