From 2015, it won't be a secret any more

he

hypervigilance/guilt/apology//over
made time to think
made arrows
made snow
mountain
moby-dick
soil
sea

hello ullr

beautiful difficult histories

non participant
participant

Existing is less obvious than they make out

soup

in defiance of being here
eggs in the ground
bones around your ankles
eating the heart of the magi

rain

ok?
ok!

anxiety can be a beginning

H O W
T O
T O
A C T I O N
?
?
?
?

Hölderlin

‘Patmos’

‘Wo aber Gefahr ist, wa ̈chst / Das Rettende auch’ 
[‘But where danger is, there grows / also that which saves’]. 

anxiety = intense desire

Kali the Mother

Swami Vivekananda

The stars are blotted out,

The clouds are covering clouds,

It is darkness vibrant, sonant.

In the roaring, whirling wind

Are the souls of a million lunatics

Just loose from the prison-house,

Wrenching trees by the roots,

Sweeping all from the path.

The sea has joined the fray,

And swirls up mountain-waves,

To reach the pitchy sky.

The flash of lurid light

Reveals on every side

A thousand, thousand shades

Of Death begrimed and black —

Scattering plagues and sorrows,

Dancing mad with joy,

Come, Mother, come!

For Terror is Thy name,

Death is in Thy breath,

And every shaking step

Destroys a world for e'er.

Thou "Time", the All-Destroyer!

Come, O Mother, come!

Who dares misery love,

And hug the form of Death,

Dance in Destruction's dance,

To him the Mother comes.

planning less = space for more

structural materialist film?

places where there is space
places where you look straight at what you want and it looks straight back
films as a way of looking where there is space
looking straight at the object
instead of looking all around it

unhoarding

ITS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS

will they
(as i imagine)
destroy it all
when they realise
there is a rumbling
down here

neglect

give it a name
put a line round it
paint it a colour
give it a place
write it into a sentence
dream it a flesh
flexit into new words
wonder at it
written by your hands
in front of you

why are you so cold

if you start from here, there is anywhere to go

this is where the anger sits
heavy and childish (dangerous)
but held safely only in open space (here)
if there was no space for this then she would really stop (panic)

this is the only way it can be
there has to be space for the child
under my skin

she sometimes dreams of his sudden face
to relieve the tension of your cold stare
that doesn't understand why this can't be contained

and there is no way to understand
only unravelling
she has to get out
to imagine things (are ok).