l was made from the knife they nearly killed you with
l was a bow and arrow made from stone.

standing motionless at a busy junction
with a smile and a misunderstanding,

a quickening step
a violent beat
a stranger's work.

l was made from stone
public and inert.

a paralysed stone cupid
stared at us

red

frustration
restless bee
the air is filled with
pollen dust.
your fleeting satisfaction
at sweet thick dark haired dreams.
the bleached day
turns to pale half light.
all colours are drained to faded oatmeal,
clothes discoloured grey,
so you close your eyes.
you close your eyes and see red.
obvious, the night pours in around you
and you stand eyes closed
all is red

sunday

anais nin
gananath obeyesekere
sigmund freud
otto rank
theravada

routine

as if time were always just like this or that

i miss your
uncaring
wild days
strings and soft knees
your love of things
the pace of your days
and the way of your untethered thoughts
ingenious found airbound
settle anchored in ink

L'incertitude

«Château et clinique de La Borde, fête du 15 août.
Comme dans le poème, c'est l'incertitude qui domine, chez Rimbaud incertitude entre le sommeil et la mort. Là, troublant tout autant, incertitude entre la santé et cette autre chose qu'on nomme la folie à défaut de mots plus justes. En ce jour de fête où patients et visiteurs se retrouvent, on ne sait qui est qui, et d'ailleurs c'est une des règles de cet endroit, loin des étiquettes communes.
Cet homme qui dort, donc, je ne saurais jamais s'il s'agit d'un pensionnaire de la clinique ou d'un visiteur fatigué. Et cette rue de Rivoli improbable qui s'inscrit au dessus de son corps immobile est le reflet d'un monde où tout serait possible...»

bugs and fury

at home
afloat pirate
shifting rain
sliding grease
shaping bowls
two figures
rocking heavy
balancing bluster
at inky sea

names

sad unhappy bitter blue cheerless dejected despairing despondent disconsolate dismal distressed doleful down downcast forlorn gloomy glum grieved hurting languishing low low-spirited, lugubrious melancholy morbid morose mournful pensive pessimistic somber sorrowful sorry troubled weeping wistful

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE cognitive dissonance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kmVy1QPXn0

From When Prophecy Fails

The next step in preparation was the removal of metal. The Creator and Sananda went over the matter thoroughly and left no doubt in anyone's mind that to leave any metal on one's person or in one's clothes would be a very dangerous error. All the believers complied painstakingly with this order. Arthur Bergen, for example, carefully unwrapped the tinfoil from each stick of chewing gum in his pocket. Coins and keys were removed from pockets and watches from wrists. Many of the group had already checked their clothes and shoes carefully but now they went over them again and consulted each other about possible omissions. It was agreed that those who wore glasses with metal frames could simply discard them immediately before entering the saucer. For some reason, never specified, identification of any kind was also to be removed from one's person - it could be destroyed on the spot or simply left behind, but not taken to the saucer. Since this was a new order and an unanticipated one, it produced a flurry of excitement as the members sought to recall what items of identification they might be carrying. Finally, the "secret books" of Marian's messages were ordered packed into a large shopping bag and given to Mark Post to carry aboard the saucer. These preparations consumed a great deal of time, for each one was carefully reviewed and cross-checked. There was no margin for error.
At about 11:15, Mrs. Keech received a message ordering the group to get their overcoats and stand by. There were a few minutes of milling about and the group reassembled in the living room, where Marian instructed everyone to be seated quietly and to "act as if this were just an ordinary gathering of friends" in an ordinary house. She particularly warned the members not to stand in front of the living room window, lest they attract the notice of the police, newspapermen, or neighbors who might be watching and might attempt to follow the group when it left. She was especially concerned about the police and made a careful check to see whether a patrol car was outside the house. Her suspicions of being watched were reinforced when twice the phone rang but there was no answering voice on the other end of the line. These calls, Marian asserted, were from reporters checking to see whether the group was still at the house.
By 11:30 all was in readiness and there was nothing to do but wait and think of things that had been overlooked. The few details that did come up were disposed of hurriedly, for everything had to be in order by midnight. When Arthur Bergen suddenly remembered that his shoes had metal toecaps, it was too late to cut them out. From the ensuing excitement emerged the suggestion that he should simply loosen the laces and step out of his shoes before entering the saucer. At about 11:35, one of the authors let it be known that he had not removed the zipper from his trousers. This knowledge produced a near panic reaction. He was rushed into the bedroom where Dr. Armstrong, his hands trembling and his eyes darting to the clock every few seconds, slashed out the zipper with a razor blade and wrenched its clasps free with wire-cutters. By the time the operation was complete it was 11:50, too late to do more than sew up the rent with a few rough stitches. Midnight was almost at hand and everyone must be ready on the dot.
The last ten minutes were tense ones for the group in the living room. They had nothing to do but sit and wait, their coats in their laps. In the tense silence two clocks ticked loudly, one about ten minutes faster than the other. When the faster of the two pointed to 12:05, one of the observers remarked aloud on the fact. A chorus of people replied that midnight had not yet come. Bob Eastman affirmed that the slower clock was correct; he had set it himself only that afternoon. It showed only four minutes before midnight.
These four minutes passed in complete silence except for a single utterance. When the (slower) clock on the mantel showed only one minute remaining before the guide to the saucer was due, Marian exclaimed in a strained, high-pitched voice: "And not a plan has gone astray!" The clock chimed twelve, each stroke painfully clear in the expectant hush. The believers sat motionless.

Lazarus and the Sea

I could say nothing of where I had been,
But I knew the soil in my limbs and the rain-water
In my mouth, knew the ground as a slow sea
unstable
Like clouds and tolerating no organisation
such as mine

Peter Redgrove